Is Your Hindsight 20/20?
Google’s definition of hindsight is an “understanding of a situation or event only after it has happened or developed.” When we look back on our experiences, we have perfect vision…we see the choices we made, the choices we wish we had made, the outcomes that we experienced. When we have this clarity, we shouldn’t waste it on “should have dones” or celebrations for making the right choices but more on how to use the outcomes to help us in the go-forward.
Have you recently found your hindsight is 20/20? Have you decided 2020 is the year of change for you?
This week, I’ve been talking about reboots, restarts, reclaiming, and renovating in our lives. The experiences over the past several months have forced me to revisit what’s most important to me, and I assume for many of you as well. I saw one post circulating that posited that maybe we needed 2020 to be as challenging as it’s been so that we recognized that it might be time for a change. I’m not sure that this is right or wrong, and none of us would advocate for the illnesses, deaths, loss of employment, violence that we’re seeing, but I think we’d all admit that our recent experiences have made us revisit what had become our normal way of working and living.
Status quo is the easiest path, even if we don’t like where we’re at. Our brains are wired to be more likely to stick with what we know than to go with the unknown because there may be a risk. It’s often the path of least resistance…things just keep moving like a river flowing downstream. Moving from status quo means being intentional, not going though the motions. We often need a catalyst (like a global pandemic and the related impacts) or a strong motivation to change. But something those catalysts are not enough to get us the outcome we want.
- Sometimes, we know that we want something different but just don’t know where to start.
- Sometimes, we make a grand start and then are challenged to keep with the plan because it’s harder or we don’t have the support we need.
- Sometimes, there are roadblocks on our journey that we didn’t plan for.
Sometimes, we need help — getting started, staying the course, and/or removing the obstacles. Sometimes, that help can come in the form of a coach.
You might wonder…but I have willpower or I have a good friend/support network, how would a coach help me, why would I need one? We may feel like we should be able to do life or emotional things without help. We wonder if people will think less of us if we’re getting help from a life coach or executive coach. I’d challenge you to consider, if money was not the issue, would you hesitate to hire someone to teach you a new skill or a personal trainer to help you lose weight or get in shape or a running coach to help you run more efficiently? Likely not as much hesitation when you’re focusing on your physical well-being as your emotional well-being. We put up barriers to getting support for the “softer” things.
So…what do they do? Life coaches or executive coaches are not working with you to be your therapist or counselor or consultant or mentor. They are trained to listen and ask curious questions, to hold up the mirror to the things you’re saying, to aid you in seeing your blind spots, to challenge when your actions aren’t lining up with the priorities you said you have, to stimulate creative idea generation on how to solve the challenges in front of you. You hire coaches because they are there to partner with you on so you can achieve the goals you set out. Their only priority is that you achieve what you’ve set out to achieve…how you want to feel, who you want to be, what you want to do.
I’ve worked with several coaches over the past year as I went through my coach training programs as well as hiring some over the years to support me in my journey to create better versions of myself. Their areas of focus ranged from working on being more healthy in my personal and professional life to how to transition from corporate HR executive to CEO of my own company. What I’ve found is that you need to find a coach you trust and that will support you in the way you need. For me, tough when they need to push my thinking, showing up to celebrate with me, and being there to help me see when I’m being too hard on myself. Each of us will need something different, and, sometimes, we’ll even need different approaches throughout a relationship with a coach.
I’ve learned that the hard part of change is not knowing what to do or why I should do it, but figuring out what’s stopping me from following through. Often it’s been that I really didn’t want what I think I’m supposed to want or do. Working with coaches has also helped me to acknowledge what I really wanted to do…where I thought I could make a difference. The status quo weighs heavily, the “should” list weighs heavily, not having a real driver for change weighs heavily. Sometimes we can push through the change on our own or with the help of colleagues, friends, or family. But, sometimes, we need an outside voice, someone who isn’t influenced by organizational or family dynamics or who you don’t have to worry that they won’t remain your friend if you don’t take their advice. Sometimes, you just want to talk with someone who is just there to be the support you need…to partner with you…to explore the what ifs, and to remind you what you’re working towards and why.
I share my thoughts on coaching today because I’m seeing many people challenged by what’s been put in front of them and wondering how they get through it, people who have realized….this is not what I wanted my life to be, people who just have this feeling…”I think there’s more that I’m supposed to be doing,” people who have made the decision to start a change but need someone to help get started or to stick with it. The events of the past few months have given many of us the “pause” time to evaluate our lives, to give us 20/20 vision to use for future planning.
Now, more than ever, please find support for what you need. If coaching is the mode of support you move forward with, it will be impactful, but it will be hard work. You’ll need to think about your motivations, your reactions to situations, your values and then take action. The coach’s job will be to ask the curious questions; your job will be to find the answers, sometimes obvious ah-has and sometimes well-hidden. You will find the most value when you’re honest with yourself. I know I haven’t always like the answers I find but, I know that, until I recognize they’re part of my patterns, I can’t change those that hold me back.
One quote from Thomas Jefferson that I regularly come back to is, “If you want something you’ve never had, you must be willing to do something you’ve never done.” Is there something you’ve never had that it’s time to find?
Do you have 20/20 hindsight vision or are things still a bit fuzzy?
Is 2020 the year to take new steps towards living your best life, however you define it?
Is it time for a reboot, a restart, a reclaiming, or a renovation?
Don’t miss out on the opportunity to use your hindsight to help shape your tomorrow.
